FREE SHIPPING on orders over €80
This is where identity comes in, and where a small shift in perspective can completely change the way you approach habits. Instead of focusing only on what you want to achieve, you start focusing on who you want to become. The difference may seem subtle, but it is powerful. A goal says, “I want to run a marathon,” while an identity says, “I am a runner.” A goal says, “I want to read 10 books this year,” while an identity says, “I am someone who reads every day.” A goal says, “I want to eat healthier,” while an identity says, “I am a person who takes care of their body.” In each case, the goal has an endpoint. Once it is reached, the motivation that supported it often disappears. Identity, on the other hand, does not have a finish line. It becomes part of how you see yourself, and that directly influences the decisions you make every day.
One of the most important things to understand is that identity is not fixed. It is not something you are born with or something that cannot be changed. It is shaped over time by your actions. Many people carry beliefs like “I am not disciplined,” “I am not consistent,” or “I am not the kind of person who exercises.” But these are not permanent truths. They are conclusions based on past behavior. If you have not been consistent in the past, it is normal that your current identity reflects that. However, the moment you begin to act differently, even in small ways, you start creating new evidence. Each action becomes a small vote for the person you want to become. Over time, these votes accumulate, and your identity begins to shift. This is why habits are so powerful: they are the mechanism through which identity is built and reinforced.
At the same time, changing your identity is not a smooth or comfortable process, and this is where many people get discouraged. Your brain is designed to prefer what is familiar. It relies on patterns it already knows and behaviors it has seen repeated in the past. When you start acting in a way that does not match your current identity, your brain has no reference for it. There is no past evidence that this is “who you are.” This creates friction. For example, if you are not used to exercising and you start going to the gym regularly, there is often an internal resistance that says, “This is not really me.” The same happens when you begin waking up early, reading daily, or working consistently on something that you previously avoided. You are stepping into uncertainty, and the brain naturally resists that.
This resistance becomes even stronger because many of the habits that matter most do not provide immediate rewards. You go to the gym, and nothing visibly changes in the short term. You sit down to read, and there is no instant payoff. You work on a skill, and progress is slow. From the brain’s perspective, you are investing effort without a guaranteed or immediate return, and that feels uncomfortable. The brain prefers actions that are easy, familiar, and quickly rewarding. This is why starting a new habit often feels harder than it logically should. It is not just about the action itself; it is about going against your current identity and doing something that does not yet feel natural.
In many ways, this process is very similar to what happens when you return to the gym after a long period of inactivity. You expect your muscles to hurt. You understand that the discomfort is part of the adaptation process, not a sign that something is wrong. The same idea applies to your mind. When you begin to change your habits in a way that aligns with a new identity, you should expect a certain level of mental discomfort. It might show up as resistance, doubt, or the urge to stop. This is not a sign of failure. It is a sign that you are doing something new, something that your brain is not yet used to. You are asking it to accept a different version of yourself, and that takes time.
Because of this, changing identity is necessarily a slow process. It does not happen through one big decision or one moment of motivation, but through many small actions repeated consistently over time. One day of going to the gym does not make you a “fit person,” and one day of reading does not make you a “reader.” But each repetition strengthens that identity slightly. At the beginning, the gap between who you are and who you want to become can feel large. However, that gap is not closed through intensity, but through consistency. What you do repeatedly shapes how you see yourself, and how you see yourself shapes what you do.
Over time, something important begins to change. The behavior that once required effort starts to feel more natural. The resistance becomes weaker, and the new identity becomes more familiar. Eventually, you reach a point where you are no longer forcing yourself to act in a certain way. You are simply acting in alignment with who you are. And that is the point where habits stop being a struggle and start becoming part of your life.
In the end, goals can be useful to give direction, but they are not enough to create lasting change. If you want your habits to stay, you need to focus on identity. Instead of asking yourself what you want to achieve, start asking who you want to become. Then take small, consistent actions that support that identity, even when it feels uncomfortable or uncertain. Because it is not the goal itself that changes your life, but the person you become along the way.
